When things change

Dear Readers,

It is common for neurodivergent people to struggle with change, especially when it’s something big, such as moving school. In today’s post, I am going to share with you the story of how I had to deal with my own change a few months ago, leaving a place I knew and loved to move somewhere new.

Neurodivergent people tend to think a lot more about the things they would lose from a change in their lives rather than the opportunities they would gain. And this is one of the main challenges that I faced last year. My parents and teachers encouraged me look at other options instead of A-Levels. But the thought of leaving a school I knew and loved, and leaving all my friends behind, made me upset. I wasn’t going to be convinced, I made my decision clear.

Eventually, I realised the importance of learning that change can sometimes be for the best. In August last year, I opened my GCSE exam results to find that some of them were a little lower than expected, and this made me rethink my decision. Was everyone right? Maybe it was time to face my fears and move on to a different chapter. So after a quick sit down, and advice from the school over the phone, I decided to look at a college in Oxford city centre. And to my surprise, I discovered that I liked it much more than I thought I would, to the point when I chose to face my biggest fear. We emailed the school to notify them that I wasn’t returning, and enrolled me in the college instead, where I have been studying since September. I have never been happier.

Many neurodivergent people believe that the best way to tackle change is to try and avoid it altogether, just like I did originally. But one of the most important things I’ve learnt from this experience is that change is necessary in order to make way for opportunity. Looking back now, I think about how different my life would have been if I had still refused to take that opportunity. The last 6 months have brought experiences that I didn’t know were available to me, such as speaking on a live webinar for a Kabuki Syndrome charity, and working with one of the best hotels in the world. But I have also learnt different things about myself which I had never noticed before, such as how I feel much happier when I am only studying part-time. I have always struggled with anxiety, which I originally thought was just a common symptom that I couldn’t control. However, since starting college, my anxiety has reduced, because I now have more time to rest in between my studies. I have also gained independence by changing to a setting where I’m responsible for more daily tasks, including getting myself to college on time and making sure that I finish all my coursework before the deadline, which I have struggled with in the past.

By tackling change head-on, I have become a new, more grown-up version of myself, something which would not have happened if I stuck to my original plan. So there is a key takeaway from this post: whatever changes come towards you, no matter how big, always consider it. You might not love the idea at first, but it may lead to extraordinary things in life.

Before I go, I’m curious about how other people deal with big changes. So I would love to know: Have you ever had to deal with a similar situation like this one? And what have you learnt from it?

I hope you enjoyed this post, and I can’t wait to see you back next week!